


Dissolved Girl

by louvreangel



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: 2x23, A bit of drama, Angst, Caitlin Snow - Freeform, Character Development, Crime, F/M, Flash - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Killer Frost - Freeform, Killer Frost Origin Story, Metahumans, Origin Story, Psychological Drama, Ronnie Raymond - Freeform, SnowBarry - Freeform, Spoilers, Suspense, The Flash - Freeform, Zoom - Freeform, a bit of romance, firestorm - Freeform, flashfrost, not fluffy, season 2 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-07-11 19:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7066621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louvreangel/pseuds/louvreangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was Caitlin Snow. But the thing was, she wasn't Caitlin Snow anymore. She was someone... something else. And she wanted a new and a better name. Then she had an idea... (Starts right after season 2 finale. New Killer Frost origin story after what happened in 2x23, with slight FlashFrost/Snowbarry in the upcoming chapters.) (10 chapters on FF.net but here I put the whole story in 5 chapters.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A Killer Frost story, because Flash is on HIATUS and I'm already bored of waiting. This is right after second season finale, where Barry Allen made the stupidest decision of all times and we all sweared at him for it.
> 
> Warning: Little spoilers are going to be there throughout the fanfiction. And to be honest, I still don't know for sure where I'm going with this. Right now, this is all about Killer Frost but after sometime there might be FlashFrost/Snowbarry too. Not a fluffy story.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing but this fanfiction. All characters belong to their respectful owners.
> 
> P.s.: Title comes from the beautiful song "Dissolved Girl" by Massive Attack. Of course Caitlin won't become acid or turn into gas form lol. I referred it to her trying to find her new identity and her old one slowly melting away...

He hadn't realised what a big mistake he had done. He was so angry at himself, at Zoom, at the Speed Force... he was so furious and nothing was enough too cool him down. Not even did he feel good, when he heard those words coming out of Iris' mouth. Words he had been waiting to hear since his childhood. Nothing mattered anymore. Not Iris, not Jo, not Wallie... His family broke apart, he lost both his mom and dad. He felt like he had no reason to live anymore.

When he first got these powers, he was super happy. He was helping the world, he was helping Jo catch criminals, he had a team of friends who was by his side with what he was doing. He was a hero. He was something else. But then came the consequences and the burdens of being a hero, of being _a good person_. Because in this world, good people never won.

Now, he wanted vengeance. He wanted revenge. He wanted the man having caused all of this in the first place to suffer.

And he was going to make sure he suffered. But he should have known better than to act immediately on his rational thoughts and feelings. He should have thought of everything before doing something that could change everything. And he did change everything.

_He rewrote the history._

* * *

When he thought the particle accelerator wouldn't blow up because he changed the history, he also thought that there would be no metahumans either... With Eobard Thawne gone, everything was supposed to have changed for the better.

_Except it didn't._

There are some things in this world, that we cannot, _nobody_ can change. Sometimes we call it faith, sometimes we call it coincidence... But somethings are meant to happen when the right time comes and the particle accelerator explosion was one of those things that no matter what you do, you can't stop. One way or the other, by Harrison Wells or Eobard Thawne or someone entirely else... it was meant to happen.

And in that exact same day when the first particle accelerator explotion happened, in earth 2 the explosion took place once again and had killed many people, also turned many others to metahumans. The damage was huge, half the city was destroyed. Worse thing was, it once again created every evil metahumans within. Yet this time, there would be no Flash. Or, would there?

* * *

In all of these evil metahumans, only one of them had a very difficult stage of adapting to the powers and accepting the new life of what the powers brought. She was knocked out by the explosion and when the medics found her, there was no pulse. They brought her to the morgue, actually told the time of death and let her only parent—her mom that she was dead. Then, she became conscious in one of the morgue beds and started screaming her lungs out. She kept punching the bed, the walls of this tiny little place, kicking and yelling and screaming nonstop. She was slowly becoming claustrophobic, she had nowhere to move, nowhere to run. This kept on going for how long, she didn't know. Nobody heard her, nobody came looking for her. What was going on? Where was she? Everytime she tried to cry, her teardrops became little pieces of ice on her cheek and thus they would never fall. Eventually, she stopped crying, punching, kicking... She just stopped. She gave up and tried not to think further about it. _At least I am alive_ , she thought but... why didn't she feel alive at all?

Then, after a few days, finally one of the morgue staff came back, to show her dead body to her mom, for identification. But instead of finding a dead daughter, they had met the wide open eyes of a supposedly-dead woman. Her eyes weren't brown anymore, they were ice blue and they had a very blank look in them. Her mother screamed and stormed out of the morgue when her supposedly-dead daughter wrapped her hands around the morgue staff's neck and suddenly the man was frozen, his whole body turning dark blue and as stiff as a rock. The woman finally stepped out of the morgue bed and pushed the man backwards, causing him to fall down to the ground. As soon as his body made contact with the floor with a loud thud, his whole body shattered and became little pieces of ice.

The woman stared at the floor and the man lying there for a little while before turning her head to the morgue door. She was supposed to get out of there, that was all she knew. She couldn't quite remember what happened, what was going on or what happened to her. Yet, she felt like she just didn't care anymore. She felt numb but stronger than she had ever felt. She was supposed to be dead but here she was, standing in the middle of the morgue she was put in, alive and cold. And without a pulse. This must have been a second chance given to her... in a very different way.

As she made her way to the door, she heard the alarm bells ringing throughout the whole hospital. Then she heard a woman screaming _"My daughter is back from the dead!"_

Oh _that idiot woman_ always made a fuss about everything. She had always been a cold bitch and she was never a really caring mom. She never loved her daughter, never showed a bit of sympathy towards her after Charlie died. So why was _she_ supposed to show any sympathy?

_She wasn't._

So she met them at the hall, standing straight. A few man lunged themselves at her but before they could reach her, the floor beneath them turned into ice and they all slipped. The woman looked at her hands which were blue now, cold air and ice coming out of them. She didn't know what she was doing, her instincts took over her.

Then her eyes locked with her mother's.

"Run." She told her with a wicked smile and saw her mother running as fast as she could in the halls of the hospital.

The woman decided not to bother following her. She had to find herself somewhere to stay and some new clothes because... she was very much naked, she noticed.

She took clothes from a nurse's locker and wore them, knowing people were coming to look for her. She also took some cash from her purse. She knew she had to stay low and undetected or God knew what they would do to her. She managed to sneak out of the hospital with some luck and walked in the dark streets of Central City.

She tried to remember her name for a while. Deep down inside, she actually remembered what it was.

She was Caitlin Snow.

Yet, her brain wouldn't quite grasp it for some reason. It was maybe because today she killed a man, or maybe it was because she didn't feel as innocent and warm-hearted as her old self Caitlin Snow was. She knew she couldn't go back to her old life, she had always loathed it anyway.

Now, she was someone... _something else_. And she wanted a new and a better name.

Then she had an idea... 


	2. Frost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but this fanfiction. All characters go to their respectful owners.

_She was Caitlin Snow._

_But the thing was, she wasn't Caitlin Snow anymore. She was someone... something else. And she wanted a new and a better name._

_Then she had an idea..._

* * *

The first thing she did was to go to a cheap motel in a dark alley, probably one of the ugliest places in the entire City. But she had no other choice. She had killed a man and she was probably being chased by the police. She had to put up with this filthy place for a little while, she'd go out there when she felt safe enough. After a very uncomfortable sleep at night, she woke up with her back hurting like hell. The bed was something that you couldn't even call it a damn bed.

She went to the toilet—if she were her old self, she would never enter there—and washed her face. The dirty mirror was also broken so she couldn't see her reflection crystal clear but from what she saw, she looked like hell. She was so pale, or was it because of the dim light in the toilet that only came from a flickering lightbulb, she had no idea. Though she knew, from what she saw on that foggy reflection, she couldn't be that person who Caitlin Snow was anymore. There was no going back. She decided to go an a different path and she had to stand by her idea of a new life. So she thought of making a little bit of change with herself.

She went to the nearest hairdresser she saw on the street and saw she had no luck about that place either. It was a small, tiny place with only one customer seat and one mirror in front of that. This place was absolutely not eye-catching but it would suffice her needs.

The gypsy who owned the place came from a backroom of the shop and gave a huge smile to the woman in front of her. _What a petite woman to rip off from_ was what she thought at first. That was of course before she saw the woman's hands turning ice blue, some weird fog coming out of them, slowly turning into ice. Gypsy's eyes opened as wide as plates and she immediately took her metahuman customer to the chair, trying to give her her best smile at the same time.

"What would you like, my dear?" she asked with a shaky voice.

The woman looked at her reflection on the mirror—finally on a mirror without any dirt on it. She saw her eyes and couldn't understand what she was seeing at first. Her eyes looked dead, blank. They had changed colour and she had no idea up until now.

Then she made her decision. " _Well..._ why don't we go for blonde? Platinum blonde."

The gypsy nodded and started her work.

* * *

The gypsy had more money on her cash register than the woman would have thought. It was good, because she needed more money to run away from this filthy place. At least she was not that easy to recognise anymore. With her platinum blonde hair, ice blue eyes, pale skin... she was a complete different person. Nothing was left of Caitlin Snow, the successful scientist who tried to help the world at all costs.

The world, the city she tried to save at all costs did nothing to save _her_. Apparently no one was holding a funeral for her. What happened to those people who she used to call _friends_? Was anyone even looking for her, trying to reach her to _actually_ help her? If so, where have they been?

She returned to the motel right after she was finished with the hairdresser. There would be no body to be found, because the gypsy was only pieces of ice right now. She would melt and... voila! No evidence of a dead woman at all.

She was actually beginning to like this new life of hers. Everything was so much easier than before. Killing, stealing and not feeling guilty... She felt good. She felt better.

The motel had a little living room where there was a dirty kitchen, and in that living room was an old TV. She was going to her room when she heard the news were on and her eyes focused right on the TV. If there was anything going on about her, she would find out.

Instead, there was _nothing_ about her. No warning, no news, _no nothing_.

How could that be possible? Wasn't anyone aware of what she had done in that hospital?

She felt her blood boiling inside of her. Even when she wasn't Caitlin Snow anymore, people still didn't give a damn about her.

The news were about a guy who nobody managed to see quite well because _allagedly_ , he always vanished into thin air in _lightning speed_ when seen. She snorted at that. _Lightning speed._ What was next? Aliens coming to earth, humans fighting with robots, Terminator actually becoming real? But then she remembered what _she_ had become and all her thoughts were gone. After that explosion, apparently _anything_ was possible. She just didn't know how deep it went.

* * *

Two weeks passed with total _emptiness_.

She never went out of the motel. When she would feel hungry—which was very seldom—she would request something from the old owner of the motel and he would order something for her. Sometimes burger, sometimes Chinese takeout... But he would always be the one to take the delivery. Because she thought she had to stay low, outside and strangers could be dangerous.

Yet, a few more days passed and she noticed that there were no news about her, no WANTED signs on the streets, no warnings on news... That's when she thought, _why hide?_

She thought outside and strangers could be dangerous but... _she could be more dangerous_.

She could turn anything into ice, for God's sake and God knew what else she could do. Why not use those powers to turn everything into _her_ advantage? She was being a coward by hiding in a filthy motel in a dark alley. She could go out there and do whatever she wanted, get whatever she wanted. There was no point in hiding anymore, since no one was looking for her.

She left the motel at around midnight and started walking towards the main street. She could take a taxi to her old house in the city to get her clothes and stuff, yet she didn't have enough money left for it.

 _So what? You can always kill the driver_ , a voice in her head talked to her. It was the voice which she also heard when she killed the morgue staff. It was the voice which she heard when she killed the gypsy. And for some reason, that voice was always so sensible. That voice always came up with good, brave ideas. Why not listen to it now?

When she came in front of her apartment with the taxi, she knew she had to act quick. The streets were empty but that didn't mean there weren't any people. She wasn't going to turn this simple thing into a massacre.

She was about to touch the man's neck and freeze him when she saw a black-blue lightning pass right by her. It was so quick that she thought she started seeing things. She looked behind the car and saw a man in a dark black suit, blue lightning bolts surrounding him. He was apparently running away from something which she didn't know or see. Now, he was standing in the middle of the road, not doing anything. He wasn't running anymore, he wasn't even moving an inch. He was just standing. Then her curiosity took over her and she got out of the taxi, the driver yelling after her. At first she acted like she didn't hear the man and kept walking towards the man in the black suit. But then the taxi driver also got out of the car and started following her.

"Get back here and give me my money, _you bitch_!" was what made her turn to him. She saw everything red at that moment and did the only thing she knew how to do; to hold her hands towards the man and channel all the anger to them. Ice came out of her hands, making their way to the man.

At that moment, she only blinked _once_ and the driver was gone. She immediately withdrew her hands and looked around herself. What was going on?

Then she saw the man in the black suit holding the taxi driver by his collar, the driver's feet above the ground. Before she could understand what was going on, the black suited man's whole arm went into the driver's upper body, to exactly where his heart was and she saw the driver's eyes flickering out. The driver's body fell to the ground and the man in the black suit looked directly at her.

Their eyes locked for a few seconds.

"You're welcome, _Frost_." Was all he said before he vanished into thin air. Then she heard two women screaming for help, one of them calling the police on the phone.

She ran away from the scene immediately and went to her home, packing a few stuff that she thought would be necessarry before fleeing from the whole thing that happened. She was feeling confused, she was at a loss. Most importantly, she was _scared_. She had killed people too, yes, but what she witnessed just now was something different.

Yet, she couldn't stop feeling some warmth in her cold heart for the man who had killed a man just for _her_.

It wasn't something nice. It was _twisted_ and she tried not to feel blissful about it; she really did.

_And she failed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry folks, I'm not really planning on making Caitlin fall in love with Zoom. But I have to get her more twisted and deadly, because she still hasn't become the Killer Frost. She needs more time to become a villian and Zoom is the perfect address if you wanna get all psychopathic lol As I said, Flash and the others will make their entrances later in the story.
> 
> So stay tuned! ^-^
> 
> xoxo louvreangel


	3. Zoom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but this fanfiction. All characters belong to their respectful owners.

She couldn't stop feeling some warmth in her cold heart for the man who had killed a man just for _her_.

It wasn't something nice. It was _twisted_ and she tried not to feel blissful about it; she really did.

_And she failed._

* * *

The whole city was chaotic because of the man in black suit, whom nobody managed to see his face. Everybody was talking about him, everything on the news was about him. Newspapers had articles all about him. In twenty days, he killed exactly ten people and those people had no connection with each other. They were rich and important people though, to show the world what he could do. He wanted respect, he wanted revenge and he was going to get it. Every single person on this city that hurt him, called him crazy, tied him to an electric chair before the explosion, they were all going to die. Some of them died already, he killed them. Some of them were killed by the explosion itself. But there were still a lot of people out there who needed to suffer. He liked watching people suffer. Even before he was this _speedster_ , he enjoyed seeing people die. He was as twisted as any other serial killer out there, maybe even more twisted.

He made only _one little exception_ ; he killed a taxi driver. That guy wasn't on his kill-list, hell, he wasn't even rich or important. He was just another jackass taxi driver, being a dick to a woman customer.

He was running from the police, who were trying to block all his ways of escape. They were trying to do the impossible but, a little chase wouldn't hurt anybody. He enjoyed being chased and they could chase him all they wanted.

Nobody was fast enough to catch him. _He was the fastest man alive_.

When he saw the taxi on the road, he stopped running. For some reason, he just stopped to see what a taxi was doing on such an empty, vacant street. He was only curious. Then things took a very different turn for the better. It was like a plot twist happening right in front of him. Everything got so interesting when the woman stepped out of the car and started walking towards him. Everyone was scared of him, scared of something that they couldn't see. But this young woman was walking towards him with her head high, instead of running away or screaming for help. It was very intriguing indeed.

Suddenly the taxi driver also got out of the car, yelling after her. She acted like she didn't hear him. The man in black suit saw determination in her cold blue eyes as she took each step towards him with such curiosity and bravery. He kept waiting for her to reach close enough when he heard the taxi driver curse at her, demanding his money. She stopped on her tracks at that. The thing he saw in her eyes at that moment told him that she was as twisted as he was.

She turned to the taxi driver and held her eyes towards the man. Speedster was shocked to see this beautiful young woman was also a metahuman. He watched the scene in front of him like a person watching a movie in a theatre. Then he decided to step in and be the _hero_ for once. Just to show the woman what _he could do_.

An icicle was flying towards the man's heart when the speedster ran and grabbed the man, saving him from the icicle. Of course his intentions were not about saving the taxi driver at all. _He_ wanted to be the one to kill him. He could spare this young woman one murder.

He grabbed the man by his collar and easily lifted him, the driver's feet leaving the ground. He killed the man without breaking a sweat and dropped him to the ground, looking back at the woman who was also looking at him.

Their eyes locked for a few seconds.

"You're welcome, _Frost_." Was all he said before running away. He saw all he needed to see and understood that this young woman just needed a little... push to the edge to fully absorb who she was becoming. She was obviously not accepting _everything_ yet. He could help her with _that_. Maybe in this ugly little world, there were still some people that he could find useful to him. _Starting from this young woman._

He would be seeing this woman who could rule over ice later on. He was going to make sure of that.

* * *

She was so tired when she finally found a place to stay. It was another filthy motel in another vacant dark alley but she had no other choice this time. She ran all the way to the motel with all her might and wished she had been a speedster too. She hadn't run that fast since college and her legs were wobbly from all that running. She was scared, tired, fascinated... Her emotions were a roller coaster at that moment and she needed a moment to herself to think everything through.

The minute she put her head to the pillow, everything that happened came rushing to her mind. How easy it was to kill someone for that guy with the weird mask. The mask made his face look like a monster's face. He didn't even look like a human being. But of course there was someone underneath that mask and she was going to find it out. One way or the other, she was determined to meet with this guy once more. Maybe he could teach her a few ways of how to be a powerful _vigilente_.

Oh yes, that was what she was now. She was running away from the laws, the police. At first it felt weird and scary but now, it felt _exciting_. There were people out there just like her, running away because normal people couldn't accept them. What a broken society it was to live in. So seeing them suffer was only entertaining. Maybe that was why the man in black suit kept killing people. He probably enjoyed doing it. He _looked like_ he enjoyed it.

Before he ran away, he called her _Frost_. What was that even supposed to mean? Did he just creat a petname for her or what? _God, this is getting so frustrating_ she thought as she turned to her other side. She couldn't sleep much that night, because of all the thinking.

She was still lying in the bed lazily when she heard a knock on the door. Her eyes opened wide and she got up from the bed, all alarmed. She remembered having told the owner of the motel to never come to her room, to never knock the door. Not for anything. She specifically told him _even if there was a fire, or someone was dying, never come never knock._

She made no sound as she tiptoed her way to the door slowly. Waiting for the person behind the door to say something or make a noise, she took her place beside the door, her back pinned to the wall. In no way was she going to ask who it was. That was what stupid people in horror movies did.

Minutes passed and she heard no voice, no noise whatsoever. That meant trouble and she couldn't risk opening the door so she decided to escape from the window. She was on the first floor anyway, also the window was huge enough for her to pass through it. Her curtains were closed but what if the person behind the door went to the windows, covering it in case she went from there? Millions of possibilities were going through her head, she felt like she was going insane. Paranoia was a bad mental illness, she studied it once in university and right now she was showing every symptom of it.

She held her breath as she slowly opened the curtain, looked outside and saw nothing. Nobody was there. She opened the window with caution. She was about to escape from the room when she heard a voice.

It was the owner. "Miss, you have to evacuate the room. The authorities made a warning from the news that _Zoom_ might be in this area. Apparently he attacked the police station and took over the whole place. They are going to relocate everyone on this side of the city to a safe place."

She narrowed her eyes at what the man said. _Zoom_? So it was what people called him?

"Did you knock the door before?" she asked with curiosity as she turned to the door, deciding to open the door and killing the owner for giving her an almost heart attack with that damn door knocking.

"Uh, no?" Came the owner's answer and she stopped on her tracks. She wasn't seeing the man's face but she wasn't deaf not to hear the suspicision in his voice. He didn't know what she was talking about.

" _I did_."

Her eyes widened with fear and she had to muster up all her courage to turn back to see _Zoom_ there. She held her breath, trying to stay still on her spot. From up close he was scarier and she could hear her heart beating in her ears. He stepped closer to her and she gave it all her might not to take a step back. She had to be brave. There must have been a reason why he came all the way here. Maybe he was going to kill her because she witnessed what he had done to the taxi driver?

 _Nonsense_ , her other side whispered, _he killed that man for_ you _anyway_.

"I have an offer for you, _Caitlin Snow_."

His voice always came out like growling, for some reason. How did he know her... old name? She swallowed twice before asking the question that he was expecting her to ask.

" _What kind of an offer?_ "

* * *

 _Things are getting interesting_ but _, they will get more interesting ;)_

_P.s.: I will NOT go with Zoom &Caitlin as a romantic couple, as I said before. :)_

_Stay tuned!_


	4. Offer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but this fanfiction. All characters belong to their respectful owners.

" _Join me._ "

"Join you? For what?" she asked curiously. What was he planning exactly?

"Well... As you can see, I'm taking over the whole city... _bit by bit_..." he started explaining as he started walking around her, taking small and slow steps. "...I have a plan. I need to know there are more people out there that I can trust." He stopped right in front of her and invaded her personal space. That made her feel uncomfortable so she finally couldn't help but take a step back. At that, he took one more step and again got closer. "Don't be scared of me, _Caitlin._ Think of this as a... _job offer_. You can do so much more than hide in these filthy little motels."

She swallowed and tried to come up with an answer, but couldn't. She felt like she had no voice left in her. She only felt fear and wondered, how she could feel _excited_ about this man a few days ago. Yes, his powers excited her but up close, he looked like a monster, a boogeyman for adults.

 _Don't be a coward, Caity, he is offering you an_ oppurtunity, her inner self talked softly. _Accept it and stop living this low life, running away like a criminal. You are_ not _a criminal_. She blinked a few times, trying to stop her inner other self talking. Everything that voice said made sense and she didn't like it. Of course joining this man's crusade would make everything easier... but at what cost? What would happen to her when he's finished with her? _You are thinking everything up ahead again Caitlin, stop doing that. That habit of yours has never gotten you anywhere good before. You need to be a little bit more..._ rational.

She wanted to scream at her inner self to shut up but she was frozen. Not literally, or as an ice pun, really. She was so scared that she couldn't even move. She took another step back, trying to collect her thoughts without him invading her personal space.

He grabbed her arm. " _Don't_."

One word with such power in it was enough to make her stay where she was. She wouldn't dare take another step back or God knew what he would do to her.

At that exact moment she knew, he wasn't _offering_ _anything_. She had no choice, no privilege to say _no_. She was either going to accept his offer and go with him, or she would get killed by the hand's of this masked man.

"Okay." Her voice was so weak that she couldn't even hear herself. But it was obvious that the man heard him because in a second, she found herself in a whole different place.

This was like an hideout, a place specially designed by him. There were a few cells, kind of like a dungeon. She looked around herself as she walked beside him to somewhere she didn't know.

" _This_ is going to be where we'll be staying for a while. Not the best to stay, but _absolutely_ away from the prying eyes."

She figured that this place had more than just that _dungeon floor_ —yes she was going to call it that. They went down on two stairscases and she found herself on a floor with more lighting in it. There were a few doors on this floor, which opened to other rooms, and then at the end of the hall was a kitchen. She opened one of the doors with curiosity and saw that the rooms were old but clean, which made her wonder who had cleaned them. The room on the right opened to a room with dim lighting, but big enough for her not to feel suffocated. It had an old bed, a wardrobe and a study table with a chair. The positive thing; there were no rats, thank goodness.

"Can I stay here?" she asked with a low voice, as she nodded her head to the room.

"Sure." Came his answer and she sighed.

"Who cleaned this place?" she then asked with curiosity, forgetting that _curiosity killed the cat_.

The man looked at her and cocked his head. She didn't meet his eyes, as she was scared to see that terrfying mask. "The maid." Was his only answer before he disappared in a blink.

She knew _the maid_ was ninety percent _dead_.

Then she decided to wander around the place, understand where it exactly was. From her small window in the room she couldn't see much.

She went down a few more stairs and found a gate. When she opened the door slowly, she saw that they were on _a frigging cliff_. She gasped and her hand flew to her mouth. They were miles up from the ground and the only way down was to walk down those unstable-looking stairs which were so long that she couldn't see the end of it. She immediately closed the gate door and put her back against it. For how long were they going to stay in this place? Was he going to get maids and then kill them everytime he wanted to get the place cleaned? She had too many questions but she didn't really want to hear their answers. They were going to be disturbing, she knew that. She regretted having gotten out of that damn taxi to look closer at the man whom she was going to live with after today. There weren't other people in this place either. She was going to be alone with this man and she never even saw his _real face_ underneath that mask. This man was a murderer and could be dangerous for her also. Okay, she killed people too but she never did it for fun. She had to kill those people because there could be no witnesses left behind if she wanted to escape from the police. Or maybe she was just as insane as this man and was just finding excuses for her _murders._

She closed her eyes and tried to remember her old life. She was so focused on her new one that she forgot what it was like to be _Caitlin Snow_. She felt like she didn't have a name anymore; except from the petname Zoom created.

_Frost._

It actually had a beautiful ring to it.

"What are you doing?"

Her eyes snapped open when she heard his voice and saw he was standing right in front of her. Her first instict was to back up but as she was standing against the gate door, she had no space to go to.

She blinked a few times and did her best to keep her voice steady. "I just wanted to know where we were so I only looked outside." She was grateful that her voice didn't crack.

He kept looking at her, without uttering a word. Then she mustered up all her courage to ask the question she had been yearning to ask since day one. "Why don't you take off your mask?"

He chuckled, which was to her surprise and took off his mask. "Well, aren't you a curious woman?" he asked sarcasticly.

She was surprised at what she was seeing. Underneath that horrible black mask with a terrifying look was a very handsome man with short blonde hair and blue-grey eyes. His cheekbones were visible and he had this... scary grin on his face. She expected him to be anything but this young, handsome man. Yet, the thing in his eyes... that _glow_ wasn't beautiful. It was sending shivers down to her spine—and not the erotic kind.

"Let's have lunch." He said as he made his way to the kitchen.

She closed her eyes and sighed.

_She had no turning back from this._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Normally this was a 10 chapter story in FF.net but here I am putting it all here on fifth chapter. Enjoy.

Months passed, with a lot of killing and running.

She was _Killer Frost_ now, people started calling her that. She was on red alert on the news, if anyone saw her, they were to report immediately. She was dangerous to every age group, she could control ice and she was on the run from the police. That was all everybody knew. Nobody managed to see her face properly because whenever they were close enough, she would be gone. Some people started calling her _The Second Speedster_ but didn’t know she was nowhere near of being a speedster. But then one day, Zoom wasn’t there and she had to kiss the man she had to kill to stall him, trying to use her charms as a last resort. Suddenly the man’s whole body turned into ice and he collapsed to the ground. She was surprised at what just happened and discovered a new power that she didn’t know she possessed. But did that really mean she couldn’t kiss anybody anymore?

Then she snorted at herself. She didn’t have a boyfriend or anyone she loved to kiss anyway.

Then she remembered the first time she killed a man just because Zoom wanted was when he had to go to the police station and he left everything to her. That was when everything changed for her.

**-flashback-**

_She was scared. Even though she had killed before, this was different. She was going to kill someone whom she didn’t know just because Zoom wanted her to. She was feeling guilty, her innocent conscious was talking to her nonstop. She felt like she was going to go crazy as she walked down the road, right behind the man she was supposed to kill. She couldn’t even ask Zoom who this man was because she was terrified of him. They were living together, they mostly ate together but they never spent any more time than that. He was always on the run, killing and spreading horror to everyone in Central City. Some of the police men were now working for him, helping him on his crazy plan to_ rule over Central City _._

_She had a very terrifying feeling that he didn’t like her at all; he just_ needed _her. For now._

_“Hey, handsome.” She called after the guy she was following. The man stopped and turned around at the woman’s voice, trying to see her in the darkness. She was standing in a very dark spot, not to be seen, only her shadow was visible under the dim light of the street lamp._

_“Who—who are you?” the man started walking backwards while searching for the owner of the voice with his eyes._

_She then stepped out of the darkness and started walking towards him. “Don’t you know? Aww, what a pity.”_

_When the man saw her, he immediately started running. But suddenly the asphalt under his feet turned into ice and he slipped. She came next to him, looking at the man lying on the ground. His eyes were wide open, shaking his head, begging her not to kill him. She didn’t want to kill him actually, she felt like she had no reason to do it._

Don’t be silly, you’re doing this for Zoom, who gave you a home to stay _, her inner voice talked. She bit her lip and tried to concentrate on the man. How was she going to kill him? What if this man had kids, or a wife, or a family?_ Just kill him!

_“Shut up!” she yelled at her inner self and noticed she talked out loud. The man was shaking his head more vehemently now and she knew she had to do this. Or Zoom would kill her. She knelt down beside the man and wrapped her hands around his neck. In a few seconds, his whole body became ice cold and she could feel his heartbeat slowing down under her hands. She gave it all her might in herself not to withdraw her hands. His heartbeat was right under her palms and they were slowing down every second. It was an ugly feeling. She had done it before, but that time came out of nowhere and she_ didn’t know _what she was doing. Her only intention was to try to suffocate the morgue staff but then he turned ice blue. That was when she discovered her powers. But now, she_ knew _what she was doing. She was taking a man’s life with her bare hands._

_His heart stopped beating and she withdrew her hands right away. She swallowed twice as she stared into the man’s open eyes._

_“Good job.” Came Zoom’s voice right behind her._

_She stood up and kept her gaze at the dead man. She still had no courage to ask why she had killed him. Her job was to obey Zoom, what more could she question?_ Stop being an idiot and just accept it, Caity-girl, you are not your old self anymore. You are more powerful, stronger... Just accept who you really are and this pain will go away... I promise...

_At that moment she knew the voice was right. It was either going to be a guilty conscious speaking to her all the time, or she was going to accept this new lifestyle and play along._

_When she made her choice, all she ever wanted was the pain to go away..._

**-end of flashback-**

* * *

 

She was someone entirely different now. In all these months she killed people without questioning anything, doing exactly what Zoom asked for. When she had accepted her new self months ago, everything became easier. She felt no guilt anymore, no pain, no more inner voices talking... She finally had peace in her head and that was all she had asked for. It was more fun now to kill people, ruthlessly. It had been giving her headaches and sleepless nights before but now, _she didn’t even care_. She just killed and gave no thought to it.

Finally she felt like, _it was much more fun to be bad_.

Everybody feared her, ran away from her, hid from her... It was the other way around before. She had feared everybody—especially the police—and she had run away and hid from them. Now, she was _free_ to do whatever she wanted. Plus, she had _Zoom_ to protect her. They were working together after all. So when one day she came back to their hideout, she was surprised to see a guy up in flames, talking to Zoom.

They immediately stopped talking when they became aware of her. The guy in flames suddenly looked all normal and had no more fire coming out of his hands... and his head. She walked towards them with her head high, her eyes following the new man’s every body movement.

“Is the job done?” Zoom asked. He still had his mask on, apparently he was going to go somewhere again.

She nodded. “Yes, like you asked.”

“Good.” He said and stepped in between her and the new guy. “Meet Ronnie. But he calls himself _Deathstorm_.”

What an irony it was to meet a man exactly your opposite. She eyed him skeptically and decided not to say or do anything.

“Nice to meet you, _Killer Frost_.” The man said with a smug grin on his face and held his hand towards her.

No way in hell was she going to shake that hand.

She snorted and turned to Zoom. “Is he with us now?”

“Yes. He will be a useful asset, I believe.” Zoom said and disappeared in the blink of an eye.

The new guy—aka Ronnie kept his gaze at her, trying to figure out her next move. But she only made a disgusted face and went to her room, not once looking back. There was something so intruiging about this woman and he wanted to find out her story; the story of why she started working for Zoom in the first place. Well, if they were going to work together after all, they needed to know each other better. He then decided that day by day, he would try to break her _icy_ walls that she created to protect herself.

_He never managed to succeed._

When they started working together, it was a disaster. Both of them didn’t cooparate with each other because they never shared the same idea, they never accepted any idea other than their own. It started to get frustrating for Zoom. These two would become trouble for him if they kept this stupid thing going on. He couldn’t be sure of what to do but after he managed to get enough metahumans on his side, he decided to let them go. Not _let them go_ , exactly. They would still be working on him but _seperately_ and _please_ away from him. Their annoying nagging all the time started giving him headaches. The last thing he needed around him were two adults acting like teenagers.

The day on which the three of them were on the same spot, trying to get rid of all the S.W.A.T. and police forces, was the day that Zoom had had enough.

“Why did you put him on fire? That was unnecessary!” Killer Frost yelled at Firestorm.

“ _Why_? Because you couldn’t kill him with an icicle? Oh, I’m sorry _princess_ for not having given you the chance first.” He yelled back at her.

She was about to answer back when they heard Zoom roar; “ _Enough!_ ”

He looked at them and started walking towards them with angry steps. “ _I. Have. Had. Enough._ ” With each step he took, he said a word and emphasized on all of them. Killer Frost immediately took a step back.

“I’m sorry. Won’t happen again, I promise.” She said as she started staring at the floor, not to meet his scary gaze.

“I know. Because you two are leaving. _Now_.”

At that, both of their heads snapped up and they looked at each other. What was that supposed to mean?

“I said _now_.”

Killer Frost knew his wrath well enough not to push it further. She immediately ran to the back door, bolted out of the place. She didn’t know where to go, what to do but she knew she wanted nothing to do with that piece of shit flame-guy. Before he came, everything was great. She and Zoom were a great team, they worked perfectly together. But then this idiot came and screwed up everything. She was so pissed at him that she never wanted to see his face again. And if she saw him, she would try to kill him at all costs. That man took the life she was living blissfully away from her because of his stupidity. It was because of _him_ that Zoom dismissed them. But she would get her revenge.

That’s all she did the best, after all.

* * *

 

Some days, Zoom came to her new hideout near a warehouse and gave her jobs to take care of. Some days she would just steal and kill, for fun. And some days, she would do _nothing_. She would sit around, maybe try to read a book but never finish it, or watch the news to see anything significant was happening. To be honest, for the past year a lot of things happened. She got affected by the dark matter, became a person who had control over ice, ran away from the police and then teamed up with Zoom, starting her murder spree. That’s when everything got so crazy for her. He made her accept her new life and new identity, before she got crazy. There were voices in her head before, they always told her the most dangerous things. They were also gone now. She was thankful for that because it was driving her nuts. It took her months to finally understand what she had become and what she could use it all for. Zoom gave her a reason and a place to stay.

_Now she was on her own._

A few more weeks passed with no Zoom coming to give a job. She was getting really bored when one day she saw the flame-guy come into her hideout.

“Frost?” he called her name, looking around the warehouse.

She sneaked up on him and threw an icicle right through his heart, never thinking twice. He must have had big balls to have come to her hideout in the first place.

But the icicle melted away as soon as his body went up in flames. He turned around and looked at her. “For a minute, I honestly didn’t notice you were there. Nice job, _Ice Princess_.”

“What do you want?” she asked with a cold voice, not making it obvious how defeated she felt at that moment.

“Have you seen the news?” he asked as he walked towards her.

She narrowed her eyes. “You better be here for a good reason.” She said as she folded her arms on her chest.

“There’s another Speedster going around in town.” He said and stopped right in front of her, trying not to invade her personal space.

Her brows arched at that statement. “Another Speedster? How is that even possible? Who is he?”

“Whoa, how many questions can you ask in ten seconds?” he said and rolled his eyes. “I don’t know anything. Zoom has gone crazy when he heard the news.”

She was curious and really wanted to know what was going on. But how was she going to find out? The last thing she wanted was to ask this guy for more. Plus, she _hated_ him.

She stepped closer to him and bit her lip slowly, staring into his eyes. She wrapped her arms around his head, tiptoeing a little to reach his lips comfortably. Her breath was cold against his warm lips, his body warmth pierced through her whole body. She never felt that warm after what she had become. He carefully put his hands on her sides, closing his eyes.

Finally, she would get her revenge and he would be gone, that stupid prick.

So she kissed him and sent all the coldness she had in herself to her lips, through his body. A grin was plastered on her face as she kept kissing him. But seconds passed, they kept kissing and _nothing happened_.

She withdrew herself abruptly and looked at him. Her eyes were smouldering with anger and she started trembling. Her hands became fists, trying to control herself.

At that moment he understood why she had kissed him. Then he chuckled. “Did you really think that _that_ would work on me? Wow, you are a _dreamer_.”

But he didn’t see the punch she was throwing at him coming. When her cold, hard knuckles made contact with his jaw, pain appeared on his features and that was enough to make her happy again. She turned on her heels and made her way to Zoom’s lair.

* * *

 

He was mad. He was so mad. He was breaking everything in his room, yelling and screaming and punching the wall. Every punch left a hole in the wall. But he didn’t care. He found out that he was losing his speed, day by day, slowly and painfully. Speed Force wasn’t by his side and kept sending their ugly spirits after him to catch him and stop him. That was _never_ going to happen, _never_. He wouldn’t let that happen. The new Speedster was like rubbing salt into his wound. He was saving people, becoming the hero. He didn’t know why the new speedster hadn’t shown up before, it has been a year and a half. But that didn’t matter to him. He was going to find out his true identity and do something about it.

When he felt a presence in the lair, he got all alarmed. But then he saw _her_ and knew she had heard the news.

“A new Speedster, huh? _Interesting_.” She emphasized on her last word and stepped into his now-messy room. “What are you going to do—”

Before she could finish her sentence, she found herself pinned to the wall, with his hand squeezing her neck tightly. She started gagging, slapping his arms, at the same time trying to use her powers but she couldn’t focus because it was very hard to breathe.

“ _How dare you come here without my permission?_ ” he hissed at her and tightened his grip on her neck. Her eyes and mouth were wide open, she was trying so hard to breathe. He wondered if he should have just killed her then and there. “Were you followed?”

She hardly managed to shake her head as a _no_. At that, he abruptly let her go and she fell to the ground, her hands automatically flew to her neck. A few minutes she just sat there, trying to control her breathing. _Idiot, what did you expect? Him to wait for you with flowers and a red carpet?_ She thought to herself and slowly got up from the ground. Her body was trembling a little bit but she shrugged it off, her instinct was to get the hell away from this place as soon as possible.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered weakly and made her way to the door.

“Wait.” He called after her. She stopped but didn’t turn around to face him. “You and Deathstorm are going to find this guy— _The Flash_.” He said his name with such disgust that she understood his hatred about this situation was no joke. “Bring him to me— _alive. Unharmed_.”

“As you wish.” She said and left the lair.

She and the idiot flame guy had a big task ahead of themselves.

* * *

 

It took them six days exactly to find The Flash. And those days were like hell. Zoom kept coming and asking them what they had found, because he also was looking for him. They were certain he was on this Earth—yes apparently there were other earths too, she learnt—but the guy kept moving from one place to another to save the day so it was really difficult to spot him in one place. But one day he was ambushed; there were two crimes happening in two different places and he of course chose to stop them both. One crime was a simple robbery in a bank and the other one was a murder denunciation coming from the police station. Robbery could be prevented faster so he went there first, tied all the men without breaking a sweat and then went to where the murder was happening.

Deathstorm and Killer Frost were waiting for him on the street, where they had just killed a man on purpose to attract The Flash’s attention. He appeared in front of them in the blink of an eye and stopped dead on his tracks.

Both killers stepped forward side by side, smiling because of their eventual victory. Yet, The Flash—who they thought to be a bit more... older than what this guy looked like, was just standing there doing nothing. His eyes were locked on Killer Frost, for some reason and his whole body posture was stiff. It didn’t look like he was going to attack them or anything.

“Well, well... Isn’t this the famous _Flash_?” Frost said as she stepped closer to him, fearlessly. He didn’t look scary like Zoom. He actually looked kinda cute in that red get-up.

He finally shifted his legs and she knew he wasn’t actually a _statue_. “You’re here... _again_.” Was all that came out of his mouth after minutes passed.

She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. That statement was weird and made no sense at all. _Again_ was the key word there and she was sure that she absolutely hadn’t been there before. “What does _that_ mean?” she asked cockily.

He shook his head but gave no answer. He was shocked at what was going on. He woke up from the coma he had been in for nine months, then found out that he had this _ability_. He and her mom talked a lot about it, she didn’t want him to risk his life for this corrupted city but he told her he _wanted to_. He didn’t remember anything, he didn’t remember rewriting the history but he knew the minute he woke up that he was born to do this. This was his fate. He was given these powers for a reason, he believed. So for the past three months, he used them for good and saved many people’s lives.

Thus right now he was shocked and frozen because he was remembering bits from a time he didn’t recognise. They were like pictures, frames of the past, or the future or both... _he didn’t know_. At that moment everything was incredibly confusing. The minute he saw this blonde woman’s face, something clicked in his mind and he started seeing images of events like, this woman trying to save him from a glass cage... then her trying to stop a guy with a monster-like mask. But then she was also trying to kill him... with a guy beside her. Like _that guy_ beside her _now_.

His brain was as messy as a garbage can and he couldn’t collect his thoughts. Pictures of events he didn’t recall were swimming before his eyes and he started to question what was reality. Suddenly his whole body wanted to run away, hide and think everything thoroughly. Maybe his mom and dad could help him figure out a way to solve this mystery. But... why all of a sudden _mom and dad_ started coming so strange to his ears?

Then the black masked man from the pictures in his brain appeared right in front of him. The woman and man—whose names he couldn’t remember—took a step back and left the scene. He knew he had to go. _He had to go_. But he was now remembering a place, a _lab_ to be exact and some people in it whom he didn’t know. There was a woman, who looked a lot like that blonde woman, stitching up a wound he got from... where? But this woman was helpful, on the contrary of the blonde one.

He felt like he was going crazy and started running as fast as he could. Zoom was going right after him and it was like a death race. He ran with all his might and closed his eyes, listening to his heart beating like crazy. His blood was boiling with anxiety and he wished to rewind this whole day. He felt the breeze even on the back of his head, letting the wind lead him to a destination, any destination. He didn’t really care where he was heading when he had a crazy man stalking him. When he felt a grip on his wrist, he started running as fast as he could without looking back. That maniac was going to catch him and he didn’t feel strong enough to fight him at that moment. He shook his arm and managed to escape from his grip, still running fast. He felt like he was floating on air for a moment and then suddenly his feet made contact with the ground again. His eyes slowly opened and he saw he was at home. He looked back and saw no one was there. The guy wasn’t following him anymore.

Then his mom came out of the kitchen with two cups on her hands. “Morning, dear. Breakfast is ready. I’ve made you your favourite pancakes.” She said and smiled, putting the cups on the dinner table in the living room. He blinked a few times to believe what he was witnessing. There were pancakes on the dinner table with maple syrup and butter, beside them was a cup of orange juice.

“Morning, son. Had a rough night?” His father said and patted his son’s shoulder before taking his place on the table.

_These were the exact same things that had happened on that day’s morning._

_What the hell? So I can... time travel?_ He thought as he decided to dig into this hell-hole of damn questions and he knew exactly what he had to do.

He needed to see that blonde woman again for more answers.

* * *

 

Killer Frost and Deathstorm were going to plan a murder scene to lure Flash, or else they weren’t going to be able to find him anytime soon. Zoom was getting more impatient every day and their lives were at risk. So Killer Frost came up with an idea and he finally approved of it. When they killed the man in front of a bunch of people, in the middle of the street, both of them felt proud of themselves. They were so sure this was going to work. How else could they find a man who kept moving from one place to another all the time? This plan was a-okay and hopefully it would help them catch The Flash.

Killer Frost was actually nervous but didn’t make it obvious, of course. Minutes passed, The Flash was nowhere to be seen. Zoom would be there in a few minutes, like they agreed and The Flash still didn’t come. Killer Frost looked at Deathstorm who was also looking around to see if The Flash was coming. There was no sign of him. What the hell was going on? How on earth the mighty-hero-Flash didn’t come to a murder announcement made from the police station? She was tapping her foot impatiently, thinking that this was their last chance of capturing The Flash.  

Then he came, in the blink of an eye, he was in front of them. Killer Frost smiled and stepped forward. “Finally.” She acknowledged his long-waited appearance with a wicked smile. “Well, well... Isn’t this the famous _Flash_?” Frost said as she stepped closer to him, fearlessly. He didn’t look scary like Zoom. He actually looked kinda cute in that red get-up.

But before she or Deathstorm could do anything else, he disappeared. _Also taking Killer Frost with him._

She was in a shock when she saw they were in an entirely different place. A second ago she was on the street along with Deathstorm and now she was in a place like a city storage and they were all alone. The Flash only stood there, doing nothing. She knew she had to escape from his hold or else Zoom would kill her with his bare hands.

“I’m going to kill you!” she hissed at him and started throwing icicles at him nonstop. He was dodging them, but not doing anything in return. Why wasn’t he?

“I just want to talk!” he yelled at her, meanwhile dodging another icicle. She turned the whole floor into ice, so he would slip but no such thing happened. She was running out of tactics. She tried to cover him with ice but he was so fast, her eyes wouldn’t catch up with him. He sighed and finally made a move, knocking her to the ground by grabbing her shoulder. She wanted to get up, but he held her there. She put her hand on his arm, trying to freeze him but he noticed that and got away from her grip.

“Look, I don’t want to hurt you, okay? I just need some answers.” He said with a calm and collected voice. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“What makes you think I have them?” she asked.

“Because... I know you... I think.”

Her brow arched and he helped her get up. She was throwing daggers at him with her looks. “I don’t think so, handsome. You and I are hardly acquintances.” She said mockingly, rolling her eyes at the same time.

He shook his head. “No. I remember you... a little bit. You saved my life before, don’t you remember?”

Okay, this guy was a nut-job. She laughed and her cold, sarcastic laughter filled the whole space, echoed throughout the entire storage. She never thought that The Flash would be a crazy person. “Honey, I _never_ saved your life or saw you before. Whatever it is you’re taking, stop taking it.”

She wasn’t taking him seriously and that needed to stop. He stepped closer to her, grabbed her shoulders and made her look into his eyes directly. “ _You don’t understand_.” He emphasized every syllable, trying to make her understand he was dead serious about what he was saying. He wasn’t going mad—he hoped—and he needed answers. “I remember you, saving me from a glass cage, also trying to kill that man in the horrible mask... I also remember your... brunette hair—which you don’t have right now...” he stopped to take a deep breath before continuing but she was looking at him with wide eyes, clueless to what he was saying. He started shaking her by the shoulders but she was too shocked to react on it. The thing she saw in this man’s eyes was only _honesty_. He believed everything he was saying, even though she was a hundred percent sure she didn’t try killing Zoom or went back to being brunette. Where did he come up with all of this, she had no idea.

“...look, please, I am not insane. I am seeing these pictures, events that might have happened before, in my head and I need to understand what’s going on.” He finally finished his monologue.

She sighed and shook her head slowly. “Look, I am not the most trustable person on the planet but believe me, I have _never_ seen you before. And I am a hundred percent sure I haven’t tried killing Zoom.”

He let go of her abruptly and turned his back to her. He was trying to wrap his head around this new information he got from her, but it was difficult. If she was right, then he was going insane. Maybe this ability of his didn’t come without a price—that price being him losing his mind slowly but surely. He took his head between his hands, begging for the pictures and the voices to go away.

It was never a good idea to turn your back to your enemy. How stupid could he be? Killer Frost made an icicle silently and took a careful step towards him. “I think you’re confusing things.” She said, trying to stall him so that he wouldn’t feel threatened by her approaching body.

He didn’t answer her, nor turned his body towards her. She thought he was so lost in thought to notice what was going on.

New images were appearing right in front of his eyes and he was practically feeling like someone was suffocating him. This time, it was the brunette version of this woman, telling him she believed in him, then suddenly he was talking to his father but his father was wearing... _The Flash costume_...

Killer Frost was about to stab him when he whispered a low “Please,” at her, silently begging her not to kill him. He of course felt her approaching and knew this woman wouldn’t approach him with good intentions. He wasn’t an idiot.

He slowly turned his body towards her and got his mask off of his face. For some reason, he felt like he could trust this cold-blooded killer. He thought that maybe him taking off the mask would trigger some memories in her as well. “ _I know you. Don’t do this,_ ” he told her with such confident in his words that for one second, she actually believed they might have met somewhere someday. Yet, she remembered no such thing.

Nonetheless, she dropped the icicle in her hand to the ground and took a step towards him. Their bodies were mere inches away now. She put one finger on his chest to indicate how serious she was when she talked. “You _will_ believe me when I tell you I _don’t know_ you and sort out your stupid _amnesia_ problem on your own. I am sparing your life now, but don’t ever come anywhere near me and—”

Before she could end her sentence, Zoom appeared right behind her and grabbed her by her neck, throwing her to the nearest wall with full force. As soon as her body crashed into the wall, the impact of it made her lose consciousness and her numb body fell on to the floor with a loud thud. Zoom looked satisfied with what he had done, as he never liked _traitors_. She was no longer an ally to him.

The Flash’s eyes glowered with anger. “What have you done?” he yelled at Zoom and tried to punch him in the face. He failed miserably and got a kick to his abdomen, also blocking an another punch right to his chest with his arm. “What do you want from me, you psycho?” he barked as he made Zoom lose his balance by throwing a punch to his shoulder, but Zoom was too strong to be affected by that _little mosquito bite_.

“I want you dead.” Zoom simply summarized the whole thing and grabbed him by the shoulders, about to throw him to a wall when he felt his whole body turning into ice. He looked back to see Killer Frost was there, using her full power on him to stop him. The Flash took the chance and escaped from Zoom’s strong hold.

“Run. I can’t hold him for much longer.” Frost told The Flash.

He didn’t actually want to leave her all alone with that psycho maniac but he knew he had no other choice. He needed to understand everything and come up with a better plan for all this.

So he ran.

* * *

 

She was running with all her might, just like she ran all the way to that first motel she had found when she got out of the morgue the first day. She was scared, hell, she was more than scared. She fucking spared a man’s life—who was Zoom’s enemy of some sort—and also betrayed Zoom in the mean time. It was no wonder that Zoom was on her tail, waiting for the best moment to kill her. She felt like she was trapped in a glass jar, no where to hide and no where to run. Her old hideout was of course out of question. She had to find a new place to stay in.

When she came to a vacated street, she finally stopped and kneeled on the asphalt. All that running sucked all her energy and she felt like her legs wouldn’t carry her anymore. They were wobbly and tired. The street was dark, no lamp to light her way. Fear wrapped it’s arms around her whole body and mind. She felt her every limb going numb and closed her eyes without thinking twice about it. If he was going to kill her, he might as well just do it then. Because she was tired. Tired of all of this. Killing people for fun had its own limits too. Almost a year now she had been doing the same things over and over again. Just because a man was ordering her to do them. And she cared for her life, so she obeyed him always. _Until now_.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked around the dark street, waiting for a shadow to jump on her and kill her with lightning speed. Seconds passed, minutes passed... yet nothing happened. She remained where she was, as still as she could be. For how much longer she could stay like that, she didn’t know. But after ten minutes of sitting on the asphalt, she noticed how stupid her decision was. Sitting there wasn’t going to keep her safe. So she needed to find herself a safe place to stay.

Luckily, she didn’t have to search for too long. After a few minutes of wandering around, she found an open backdoor to an empty house. The whole house was like it was burnt down by a fire, ashes everywhere and nothing much left around. It looked like it could crumble down anytime soon but for now, she was going to take her chance and stay there for a little while.

When she found a room upstairs with not much dirt in it, she decided to sleep there. Not that she could sleep much under these circumstances. She was so scared for her life and she didn’t remember a time where she had felt so much fear before.

Then she drifted away to a sleep full of nightmares...

* * *

It was dawn when she woke up to the sound of something breaking in the house. She jolted up from the floor and knew better than to check what was going on downstairs. She slowly opened the window of the room and looked how far from the ground she was. She didn’t want to risk being injured from her leg so she made a small staircase out of ice and climbed down carefully. Her whole body was on high alert in case of anything.

As soon as her feet made contact with the ground, she noticed she had no idea where to go. Like, where was she supposed to go now? Anywhere far away from Zoom would be nice but did that place even exist? Zoom was _everywhere_. Plus, he could probably fetch Deathstorm to look out for her. Deathstorm was his puppet too, after all. Just like she had been for the past year.

She sighed and started walking towards the other side of the street. She decided on walking just to get somewhere away from that house. She had no strength left in her to change places everyday and become a homeless woman. But she was a fighter, a survivor. She was going to get out of this situation, even if it meant going and begging for her life to Zoom. But that was her last option. For now, she was going to stick to fighting.

She didn’t know for how long she had been walking when she finally found an old diner. She wasn’t hungry but she could certainly sit for a while and rest her legs.

She entered the diner and checked the place before sitting on a table. A waitress immediately came up to her and poured her a hot cup of coffee. “What can I get ya sweetheart?” she asked, chewing her gum at the same time.

“Nothing for now,” Killer Frost answered dismissively. The woman shrugged and let her be. She kept looking outside the window for a while, without drinking her coffee. Though a cup of hot coffee could help her with keeping her stamina up. She needed some caffeine in her system. So she took a large gulp of the coffee, hotness of it not bothering her one bit.

At that moment she noticed her hands were shaking. Sitting in the almost-empty diner with a warm atmosphere made her realise how fucked up the situation was. She was _exhausted_. For a second there, she actually missed her old life. Everything was so simple back then, she had a job, a social life, a few friends to hang out with, TV shows that she loved... Now, her whole life was a nightmare. She was a vigilente, she was a criminal, she was a puppet in the hands of a maniac. She never questioned her new life after that day when she accepted her new form to make the pain go away. But now, she was thinking about everything in a small, dirty diner. For how long could she run away? For how long could she hide? Damn, just one man came along and made her realise the things that had been in front of her this whole time. It was ridicilous, she didn’t even know the guy. Yet, his sincere and confused eyes were saying otherwise. _Another mystery to be solved_ , she thought as she sipped her coffee again.

Then suddenly, she heard the word _Zoom_ and her head turned to find the source. There was a small TV on the wall of the diner and the news were on. The speaker was talking about a mass murder Zoom committed in a shopping mall, not too far from the city centre. But because the police station was also under his control, nobody was able to do anything to stop him. His actions were getting more and more dangerous and everyday he was getting more out of control. Someone had to do something but it would be suicide mission for anybody who dared to do so.

She sipped her coffee again as she kept her focus entirely on the TV, thinking about what her next logical move could be.

* * *

The Flash had no more memories coming back to him, because there was nothing to trigger those memories. But something odd appeared in front of his eyes when he talked to Iris on the phone the other day. He suddenly remembered kissing her and apologizing. Then he went for a run to clear his head and heard the news of Zoom committing a mass murder from two people’s chattering. He could do something about it, he had to but he needed to understand his current situation first. So he did the only thing he felt that could help him.

Go and find the only woman who could trigger all those memories in him with just a look at her cold face.

* * *

 

It had been an hour since she left the diner and started walking. She didn't even know which part of the city she was in anymore. She was completely lost but that wasn't a big deal for her. As long as she could find a safe place, it didn't matter where she was. She tried to walk from the shadows as much as possible, walking by looking on the ground to avoid any eye contact with people. She wished she had had the ability of becoming invisible instead of turning everything into ice.

She was lost in thought when she barely noticed a red lightning pass beside her. She stopped right on her tracks and looked in front of her to make sure of what she saw. When she saw nothing but emptiness, she kept walking. Then suddenly she felt her arm being caught by someone and being dragged to a very narrow street, away from all prying eyes. It all happened in just the blink of an eye and she noticed that The Flash was right in front of her.

Anger took control over her body and she felt her blood boiling inside. This man  _really_  had a death wish.

"I am sorry, I caused you trouble," he started but she cut him off.

"You are causing  _more_  now. I told you to  _stay the hell away_  from me, you  _idiot_ ," she hissed at him, ready to attack him any second.

He held his hands up in surrender. "I am really sorry, but this is the only way I can understand what's going on."

She narrowed her eyes at him but didn't give a response. She was actually feeling a little grateful to see him. If Zoom was coming for her, this man could be of help. Though, this man was the reason why Zoom was after her in the first place. When she remembered that, her anger came back to surface.

_It was your stupid decision that made Zoom come after you, idiot, not this scarlet speedster_ , a voice talked in her. She shook her head furiously. It had been a long time since she heard that voice in her head. This meant she was having dilemmas with her personalities again, trying to figure out what was wrong or right. She had accepted her new self a long time ago, why were the voices had to come back  _now_ , when a maniac was after her and this insane man insisted on knowing her?

"You're... Caitlin, right? That's your name," he stated calmly as he took a cautious step towards her.

" _That's not my name_ ," she deadpanned automatically.

"But... that  _was_  your name, wasn't it?" he asked, even though he knew the answer.

"It  _was_. It is  _not_  anymore," she stated and folded her arms on her chest.

He nodded. "So, what do I call you?"

She smirked. "Killer Frost."

He huffed. "Suits," but that earned him a glare so he turned his gaze to the ground.

Then she rolled her eyes. She was bored of this conversation. They weren't going to chit-chat in the middle of no where, out in the open. He wasn't her friend and she wasn't his. "What do you want, Flash?" she asked boredly.

That's when he closed the gap between them and stared into her eyes intensely. He didn't respond, he just kept looking at her, trying to remember something, anything. But this time her ice blue eyes held no familiarity. They were the eyes of a stranger and no memories came to surface.

Killer Frost grew suspicious and uncomfortable under his intense gaze and stepped back from him. "Dude, I don't know what your problem is, but I don't have your answers. Why won't you just believe that?" she asked angrily. She was sick and tired of his stupid games. This guy appearently didn't even know what he was doing.

Then he grabbed her shoulders and shook her angrily. " _You do_!" he yelled at her. "You have them and I know that! I remember these...  _memories_  only when I look at  _you_."

She was stunned for a few seconds but then her inner self took control and she pushed him away from her as hard as she could. He was about to apologize and beg her to understand him when a massive headache hit him and he found himself holding his head between his hands. It was a never ending ache, he started moaning from pain. He backed up till his body hit the wall and he kneeled, praying for the pain to go away.

New images started appearing before him, his eyes were wide and looking everywhere all at. Killer Frost thought for a second maybe he was on drugs, because that could be the only explanation for his odd behaviour.

He struggled as the memories flooded his mind. They were messy and out of order but he could reorganise them later. His whole life that he forgot was passing right before his eyes and finally when it all stopped, his eyes focused on one spot. He was feeling like he just woke up from a dream.

Taking support from the ground, he got up on his feet and looked at the confused, stunned woman in front of him. Everything was so crystal clear now.

He had rewritten history and despite his big gamble with time and space, everything still happened the way they were meant to be. The question was, why was he on Earth-2 instead of his own world?

* * *

 

"Caitlin," he whispered with a relieved sigh. She might have been bad at one point but even on this reality he created, she still protected him from Zoom.

"Stop calling me that. It's  _not_  my name," she said and then turned around to leave. "Whatever drugs you're on, I suggest you stop taking them."

"As a formal scientist and physician?" he asked with a soft smile on his face. He was far away from home, he could tell. But at least he had someone he knew here. Well, basically he knew everybody but she was an ally. She was a friend, even though she didn't know that... yet.

Her brow arched and she turned towards him. How did he know that? "How do you know that?" she asked suspiciously. Something sneaky was happening here.

He shrugged. "I told you,  _I know you_. But you don't know me, I know. I will explain it all to you if you let me," he said and bowed his head a little. He hoped for a positive answer and not a rejection. He really needed her by his side.

There was a long pause between them before she decided to talk. She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Might as well hear out your crazy story. Just pray that it is worth my time, Flash," she said with a cold and intense stare.

He felt happier than he ever felt since he woke up from his coma in this reality. Finally, he could sort everything out and go back to his world. He noticed how big of a mistake it was to have played with fate and destiny. The lives of people, people he loved and cared about... He somehow needed to fix it all, he just didn't know how. But he was going to find out and he hoped for Caitlin's help on his side.

They went to a nearby diner, attracting everyone's attention easily as they stepped inside. Killer Frost sent all of them death glares and they all stopped looking immediately. Being seen by people was dangerous for her, as Zoom could kill any of these people for information. Thankfully, everybody knew her infamous powers and what she was capable of. She had proved all of her powers to them almost a year ago. Nobody wanted to cross ways with Killer Frost, because they knew what would happen if they came too close. It was the fear that she liked the most; the fear she made them all feel with every fiber in their bodies. The scared look in their eyes. She liked seeing them frightened.

Then The Flash told her the whole story.

She didn't believe him at first. At all. She was sure he was lying. But then she started thinking, could anyone really come up with a story like this? If they weren't an author, that is. The whole thing seemed so impossible, so out of place. Yet, she knew what Zoom was capable of. His speed could do so much and she knew most of his powers. They worked together for a long time, after all. So when The Flash, as he told her now Barry Allen, told her this story of his and asked for her to be by his side, she didn't reject him immediately. She needed to think this thoroughly. She could try and help this guy out, but how could she know he wouldn't abondon her if he were to find a way back to his home? She would be stuck here, with Zoom and probably get killed by his hands. Could she really trust this guy? Could they really defeat Zoom and make this city a better place?

_Why would you want to make this city better when in first place you tried to destroy it with your powers_ , the voice in her talked again. She closed her eyes to shut it up but that didn't work.  _You killed many people, you have blood on your hands. You are Killer Frost for a reason. You can help this man but that wouldn't undo your powers, the powers you abused to kill people for fun._

She felt her eyes tearing up at what the voice was saying. She always hated how that voice could be so true at all times. The voice was right again. She didn't care what happened to the city before, why care now? But she felt like this wasn't fun anymore. The guy in front of her was using his powers for good and what was she doing? Killing and stealing and running away like a criminal. Yes, that was what she was. A  _criminal_. She was way too deep into this swamp, there was no turning back from there.

_Help him, get Zoom off of your back. This is a golden opportunity Caity-girl, use him. kill or get rid of Zoom, doesn't matter. Escape from here with this guy. Go to the other earth where he's from. You can be safer there too. Maybe even continue the fun there._

She finally opened her eyes and looked at Flash. The Flash didn't like what he saw in those eyes. A few minutes ago, they were softer than they had been before and they were understanding. Now they had an evil gleam in them which he didn't like at all. Her eyes held a sinister look in them and it made him shiver. He had been thinking that there might be another chance for her, before he saw her eyes. But now  _he knew_ , there was no chance for her. Not anymore.

"I'll help you in one condition," she stated with a sinister smile on her face.

He knew he wouldn't like the answer but he asked anyway. "What condition?"

She leaned in towards him and spoke in a low voice. "I will come with you to  _your_  Earth."

He shook his head, indicating his answer was a big fat 'no'. "There's already a Caitlin there, very much your opposite. That could cause problems."

She shrugged recklessly. "Well then, there's no deal."

He breathed in and out, trying to stay calm as much as possible. A fight wouldn't solve anything. He thought his answer thoroughly. But he knew something she didn't. If he were to go back to the time where he saved his mother from Thawne, the day he rewrote history, and undo everything he had done, that might cause this reality to collapse and disappear. This might be Earth-2, yes, but his course of actions might have created this  _reality_  with  _him_ in it. He wasn't supposed to be here at all. This, in his opinion, was a virtual reality that was created when he broke every rule of the Speed Force and rescued his mother. He even thought he might be trapped inside Speed Force. Maybe this was a world in the Speed Force, showing him what the world might become if he didn't undo what he had done.

Too many possibilities were out there and he needed to find the truth, the exact way to get out of this situation. So he decided he also needed her by his side. "Fine. I accept your terms. You will come with me," he promised, even though he was not going to do such thing.

She eyed him skeptically. "If you make me feel like I can't trust you, even for a  _milisecond_ , I'll kill you," she threathened him with her chin up, her posture full of self-confidence. She was dead serious about killing him and he understood that.

He nodded in agreement and they sat on the diner in silence. He was still looking at her, but now he was looking at  _her_  and not her eyes. He had seen her before, yes, but they never sat or stood so close to each other this long before. How different she was than his Caitlin. This woman was a killer, whereas his Caitlin was soft-hearted and couldn't even kill a bug. How different both these Caitlins ended up in their lives was a true mystery.

"Where do you stay?" he finally asked what he had been wondering for a long time. It really had been difficult to track her down.

"Nowhere," she answered nonchalantly. Then it hit her. "Wait, weren't you the one who entered the house this morning?"

His brows furrowed in confusion. "What house?"

Her eyes opened wide as understanding dawned on her. It must have been Deathstorm or someone else looking for her because appearently it wasn't The Flash. When she saw him on the street she thought he must have followed her since the house.

She swallowed, feeling scared again and shifted uncomfortably on her spot. "I think we should go," she said swiftly and got up from the seat. The Flash put some money on the table and got up as well. Side by side, they left the diner and started walking.

"Where do  _you_  stay?" she asked curiously.

The Flash left his home because he thought he was putting his family in jeopardy by staying with them. Zoom could easily find them if he was with them. Thankfully Zoom didn't know his true identity so he kept changing hotels every week, following a safe pattern he created. "A hotel," he answered. He knew that offering her to stay with him would jeopardise them both but he couldn't look out for her everytime he needed her help. "You can stay there with me, if it'd be okay with you," he offered timidly. He expected her to reject him faster than his lightning speed.

"Sure," came her answer and he looked at her in surprise. Her face was like a wall, no emotion on it so he understood she didn't care where she stayed. She was on the run and in danger already.

He took a step towards her. "Hold on to me," he said and grabbed her by the waist. In the blink of an eye, they were in his hotel room, not far from the city center.

He requested another bed from the reception to make her feel comfortable. Not that she cared if they slept together or not. If he dared touch her, she would freeze his hands and crotch without hesitation.

When they both went to sleep in their seperate beds, multiple voices in her head started talking again.

_You can just kill him now, you know. He will be vulnurable in his sleep. Just approach him silently and freeze him to death. Then bring him to Zoom and... maybe he will forgive you for_   _your betrayal_ , one voice said. It made so much sense that she looked over her shoulder to see Barry sleeping with a restless face.

_Escaping from this world to another is so much better. Plus, he would sense you going near him, he has lightning speed. Don't be stupid_ , the other voice spoke.

_This is a golden chance to become Zoom's sidekick again, you can be his best. He might even love you for this_ , first voice spoke again.

_He would kill her in a heartbeat even if she brought Flash to him. He never forgives traitors, now, does he? You know he doesn't_ , the other voice deadpanned.

Killer Frost felt horrible. The voices didn't quiet down at all. Voices in her head were fighting over what she should do and that was driving her insane. A few tears fell from her eyes and instantly became little pieces of ices. The last thing she needed was to go insane. She thought that maybe she shouldn't have trusted this guy, but she had a personal gain from this. He could protect her and she needed that protection.

She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and tried to sleep, despite the voices. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

 

It had been a week since they started working together but she saw no progress in the direction they were going. He was trying to understand how to get back to the other Earth, whether he could open a hole himself by just running fast enough. No such thing seemed possible at that moment and he decided to go find Cisco on this Earth.

She asked who Cisco was and he described him to her. They've been searching for someone called  _Reverb_  for a week and no one knew him. The Flash and Killer Frost were trying to do their search in secret as much as possible to avoid any confrontation with Zoom. But they had no luck finding Cisco aka Reverb.

Killer Frost was getting tired of playing detective all day long. She kept thinking of killing The Flash and putting an end to this once and for all. Yet, for some reason, she just couldn't do it. Every night the voices fought with each other, one of them telling her to kill him and the other one telling her otherwise. And  _every single night_  she looked over at him, his sleeping harmless body...  _You can do it_ , one voice assured her everytime. She never listened to it, but she also never stopped thinking of killing him either.

The weight on her shoulders was getting heavier and heavier everyday. She had dark circles under her eyes and she really needed to go to a hairdresser sometime soon. This life was exhausting and she was not happy with it. Being alone was way more easier then trying to help this guy out find some  _nobodies_. 

On the ninth day, she decided to part her ways with The Flash. Teaming up with him was a bad idea, she decided. It had been a bad idea all along. That stupid idea became a huge mistake on her part. The person who she feared the most was now seeing her as his enemy. Not that she missed those days when she used to do everything he ordered her to do. It was just that right now, everything looked so hopeless. She felt hopeless and miserable and she couldn't remember a time when she actually felt so much self-pity for herself before.

"I am done," she announced as she stepped into the hotel room they were staying. He was sitting on a chair, with a map in front of him, looking for possible locations of Reverb... or even Black Siren. He knew if Black Siren hadn't met Zoom yet, she might help them. But he returned home empty handed everyday. He actually started wondering at one point, whether the explosion created Black Siren and Reverb at all. There was a slight chance that they might not have ended up as evil metahumans like Killer Frost had. She had told him Zoom wasn't working with anyone under the name of Black Siren or Reverb. It was a good thing but on the other hand, it wasn't.

His head snapped up as soon as he heard her come into the room and his brows furrowed in confusion at what she had just said. "Why?" he simply asked.

"Because your time consuming research  _isn't_ getting anywhere anytime soon, and I am tired of being your sidekick," she explained coldly and folded her arms on her chest.

He eyed her carefully, not giving her a response for a few seconds. Then he simply said "Okay," and that surprised her. She didn't really think that he'd be okay with it right away.

She nodded her head to his surprising response and took her leave. She was better off alone anyway. Although one side of hers, which she had buried underneath her whole mind and heart when she became Killer Frost, told her that this guy was nice and there was no reason for her to leave. That side of hers gave her a blood-tingling sensation and she ignored it as much as possible. That was  _Caitlin Snow_  talking and she was not Caitlin Snow anymore.

"I see you looking at me every night. Like you want to...  _kill_  me," he said a little loud to make her hear him. She was about to get out of the door when she heard him say that. "Being my enemy won't be a solution to your problems. Or your personal demons," he continued with a calm, collected voice.

_So he noticed_ , she thought and didn't give a damn. But he was right. Leaving him wasn't going to be of help to her. She was probably going to get caught by Zoom eventually and get killed by him. He would maybe even torture her for information too. Or it could be Deathstorm finding her. Then taking her to Zoom, for a price of course. Being alone was tiring, exhausting, boring and scary, she knew all of that. Taking The Flash to the  _enemy-category_ wasn't going to help solve her problems. On the contrary, things were going to get worse. She would no more have the protection of a speedster. She would have no more allies by her side. She would lose her chance of escaping this hell and going back to a whole different Earth. But there was one thing he was wrong about.

It would help her with her personal demons.

_Because they would finally shut up_. No more Flash, no more dilemmas in her head. No more dilemmas meant there would be  _no more voices_.

_And she wanted them to go away, more than anything._

"You don't understand," she said with a low voice and turned around to leave, for good this time.

" _I do_ , Caitlin, I understand you. Both my parents died and I wanted to change it. I wanted to take it all back. I tried to rewrite the history and  _look_ where it got me. A place I don't even  _recognise_. The particle accelerator still killed many people and turned many into metahumans. Except for having my parents by my side, nothing has changed for the better. I don't even belong to this Earth," he poured his heart out to the woman in front of him. Then he took a step towards her, with his palms facing the ceiling. "It must be difficult for you, to be on the run always. But  _this_  is difficult for me. I can't even find the people I know. Even Iris isn't the same Iris I knew. It's like... I am living a  _stranger's life_."

Killer Frost stood there like a statue and showed no emotion whatsoever. Yes, his story was heartbreaking but she had no heart to feel bad for this guy. Everyone had their own problems and his were really big problems. He must have thought everything would change for the better but appearently, it didn't turn out the way he wanted it to. He had a big weight on his shoulders too, just like her. But not even  _that_ made her feel something. She felt no pity, no understanding, no  _nothing_.

She was about to reject him and leave when he said "But you didn't leave. All this week you thought of killing me and you  _didn't_  do it. Why?"

She was taken aback by his sudden question. It was a question she always asked herself every night and never got an answer. She honestly didn't know why she never tried to kill him in this seven days time. Maybe it was that stupid Caitlin side of hers that stopped her. There was something about the way he looked at her, the way he called her Caitlin... She suspected that her doppleganger in Earth-1 had a relationship with this guy but she could never be sure. That would explain his vulnurability towards her, this cold-blooded killer.

But none of that mattered to  _her_. "Don't know, don't care," she responded nonchalantly.

"It's because there is still a part of you inside, that is left of  _Caitlin Snow_ ," he said with a warm voice, acting like he didn't hear her saying that she didn't care.

His warm, fur-like voice really got her hooked for a second but her features didn't soften. If anything, they became more hateful. How dare he talk like he knew her so well? She was  _nobody_  to him. Her anger took control of her body and emotions and she clenched her fists. One more word and she would rip his heart out. Whenever someone said Caitlin, her blood would start boiling. It was her old life, it was her old self. She couldn't even remember who Caitlin Snow was, sometimes. But  _he_  kept reminding her of her old life on purpose and she didn't like it one bit.

She held herself back not to attack him. She didn't want to be his enemy. They could still use each other's help if needed. They just didn't have to stay together all the time. "You're wrong, sorry to disappoint," she said with a voice colder than ice and left the hotel room.

She closed the door behind her but her hand stayed on the doorknob for a while. She just stood there, hand on the doorknob, thinking if she was doing the right thing. All these nine days, he made no move on her. He didn't ask her to kill someone or to do something violent. He never had been cruel to her, never once judged her way of doing things. All he ever did was give her a place to stay and protect her in case of an emergency. She knew he was a nice person, she had to be blind not to see that.

And here she was, turning her back to him, abandoning him. But she had been lonely for far too long, it was really difficult to adjust to a life with someone  _good_  beside her. How could she live with him whilst thinking of killing him?

_It's for_ his _sake_ , she thought as she walked away from the door and got out of the hotel, without looking back. As she walked away, she felt a few drops of tear becoming ice on her cheek and wiped them away instantly. She couldn't understand herself anymore.

* * *

 

“How couldn’t you still find her? It’s been more than a week!” Zoom barked at Deathstorm, as soon as he entered Zoom’s hideout. Zoom had really little patience left in him. The Flash was gone, Killer Frost was gone and they couldn’t find where they both were. Zoom predicted that they were together and they were really good at hiding. Zoom could probably go and search the whole city with his speed, in maximum one day but he had other business to do. He felt like he was getting stronger with every human being he killed. To see and to sense their fear while taking their lives with his bare hands... that feeling he wouldn’t trade to anything else in the world.

“I found her in an abandoned house a week ago, but she must have sensed I was there. She escaped,” Deathstorm explained, not making eye contact with the murderer in front of him.

“You idiot! All her instincts are on high alert right now, you should have...” Zoom literally face-palmed his face and didn’t even bother finishing his sentence. Finding Killer Frost was going to be up to him, he understood. He couldn’t trust anyone but himself to get the job done.

He sighed and ran, postponing his other jobs. _Killer Frost was now his priority_.

As he ran swiftly through the streets of Central City, his mind wandered to Killer Frost’s first days of becoming a killer. After her first murder, the one he ordered her to do, she became more carefree, more relax and chill. At first he didn’t understand what caused her sudden change of heart. He would always hear her talk to herself from time to time, in her room, but after that day he never heard one single word from her when she thought she was alone. He never meant to pry on her privacy but he couldn’t just go to his room and sleep when he was hearing someone talking to someone who didn’t exist. He remembered something that he had witnessed once...

_“Just shut up!” she screamed in her room to the voice in her head, thinking that Zoom wasn’t in the hideout yet. Not that she cared much if he was there. “Let me fucking sleep!”_

There’s no sleep for you tonight, Caity-girl, not until you grow some balls and start accepting the fact that you have killed a few people ‘round the block _, the voice replied snakily._

_Frost took her head between her hands, tugged her legs under her chin and tried not to cry. She couldn’t cry anyway even if she wanted, every tear would become ice as soon as they left her eyes. All that time, Zoom had been watching her from the halfway open door, not being bothered by the fact that he was actually invading her privacy._

_“I need to sleep, please, I am tired of all this...” came Frost’s low voice, whispering to mostly herself._

Stop being so immature, Caitlin, leave your old life behind already _, the voice talked again. Frost’s fists clenched and she looked in front of her, as if someone was there. “Go to hell!” she yelled and took her hand in between her hands again._

I’ll see you there, Caity _, the voice replied and she couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night._

It was complicated, even for him at first, but then he _understood_.

She was insane, just as he was. Maybe insane wasn’t the right word, and he was putting it the wrong way. They were people with _psychological problems_. That was normal because half of the world’s population had psyhological disorders nowadays. And they were in that half of population. That was why he always considered her to be... _similar_ to him. That was why he actually felt like he had a soft spot for her. At one point he was scared, that she could become a vulnerability for him. It especially didn’t help when Deathstorm came around and started flirting with her shamelessly. Though, everytime Deathstorm tried a cheesy move on her, she snapped at him and pushed him away. Zoom thought of killing him more than one time, just because he was so _pushy and obnoxious_ around her, but he fought that urge every single time. Zoom knew he could never trust a person who turned bad after a simple incident in their lives—becoming a metahuman was a simple incident in his mind. She hadn’t been a bad person in her old life, he knew that. He, on the other hand, had always been a villian, had always been a murderer. Turning into a bad person after living your whole life with success and love was a hard task. A year wouldn’t be sufficent for him to trust her, he had always thought.

_He was right_ , he knew he had been right all along when he saw her protecting The Flash, a guy whom she didn’t know at all. Zoom had no idea what kind of an effect The Flash had on her but he didn’t like it. _He hated it_. Jealousy wasn’t his area, yet he felt this tingling sensation within him when he saw her channeling all her powers towards him, turning him into a pile of ice.

He was mad, he was furious. He wanted nothing but to kill her, slowly but surely. Ripping every part, every limb of her piece by piece, violently... Oh, how much he wanted to see her _suffer_. With all the scenerios and possibilities of what he was going to do to her when he found her, he sped up and ran with all his might.

* * *

 

Killer Frost found herself another small motel to stay after a few hours of walking. Using the bus, taking a taxi and all other transportation options were out of question. They all meant risk of getting caught easily. She had to lay low as much as possible. People’s constant chattering could catch Zoom’s attention and reveal where she was.

The first thing she did as she entered the room was to check the minibar. Of course there wasn’t much in it. Only water and soda. She sighed and decided not to drink anything. She actually felt kind of hungry but her hunger could wait. All she needed was a little bit of sleep. She was exhausted and it was getting really hard to keep her eyes open anymore. There was no end to this running so she had to be strong. If she could sleep for only half an hour, she knew she would feel and be better. That was all she asked for.

She closed the curtains of the room and turned off the lights. When she finally lay down on the bed, for the first time in weeks, she instantly fell asleep. Fatigue finally dawned on her and she slept for four hours straight. No nightmares, no dreams, no voices in her head... nothing. It was somehow a peaceful sleep.

Unfortunately for her, that one time she slept like a baby was the time that Zoom found her.

Zoom had been searching all the motels near the city center when he finally found her, sleeping on the bed. He had been stupid to have given this job to Deathstorm in the first place. If Zoom himself had searched for her, he would have found her way before today. He had been busy killing other people, terrorizing the streets, taking over every police station in the entire city. It took him a few hours to find her and apparently, she wasn’t with The Flash. He was ten days late to kill her but... so what? This was his eventual victory. Finally, he was going to take his revenge and kill this woman who was once an ally to him.

Then he just stood there for a few seconds, without doing anything. Even though he was there, standing in the middle of the bedroom, she didn’t wake up. He understood she was tired and not going to wake up anytime soon. It was weird, actually, because he had never seen her in a deep sleep before. This was the first time he ever saw her _actually_ sleeping.

He started vibrating his arm, ready to tear her not-beating heart out. It was going to be a painless death for her. Though, before, he had considered torturing her. When she first betrayed him, he wanted to kill her slowly. He wanted with every fiber of his body for her to suffer. But now, looking at her, seeing the uneasy features on her face even when she was sleeping... He had a change of heart, let’s say. Maybe it was because he once had a soft spot for her or maybe because he suddenly decided to show her some mercy, he didn’t know. _He didn’t care_.

He then appeared right in front of her in milliseconds.

His arm was about to go through her chest and at that moment, she opened her eyes. Her vision was a little blurry at first, a part of her still sleeping. When she understood it was Zoom in front of her, she jolted up straight. Her lips parted, about to beg him for her life but then decided against it. She was going to die with her _dignity_.

Begging this son of a bitch wasn’t going to be the last thing she did. So she closed her eyes and started waiting for him to kill her.

“Where is The Flash?” he asked her his final question, his voice flat.

She grinned at him, without opening her eyes. God, she wasn’t ready. Even though she was tired, exhausted from all the running, from the fear she felt every single minute... she wasn’t ready. She didn’t want to die, she didn’t want to get killed. Karma was catching up with her, she knew that and she had foreseen this happening anyway. She anticipated it, yet it was still difficult for her to accept the fact that in a few seconds she was going to be dead. Her eyes teared up a little but she still didn’t open them.

_She was not ready to die_. But there was nothing she could do. She couldn’t fight him, not anymore. A part of her wanted all this to end but a bigger part of her wanted to live. She was going to die with fear in her heart.

 “ _Go to hell_ ,” was her only answer she gave, with a firm voice.

He only snorted to that and his whole arm went through her without any more hesitation. She gagged, her eyes opened wide and took her final breath as her eyes focused on her killer. She didn’t even have any time to pray. Not that she knew how to pray. But she could have tried, if it wasn’t for Zoom and his ability to kill someone in mere seconds.

He left her body lying on the bed, her eyes still open. He felt something, something he couldn’t name, whilst looking at her dead body. There was a little ache in his now-rotten heart but he paid no attention to it. At least he spared her the torturous death, he thought as he ran back to his hideout.

There lay her lifeless body, for two days straight. Nobody knew she was dead because she had strictly told the owner of the motel not to disturb her. _No matter what_.

She had known that at one point, her warning of _not being disturbed_ was going to cause something dreadful. And now nobody knew she was dead, not that anyone would care.

Two days later, The Flash found her, after a long search in the city. He had finally found a way to fix all this. He was going to let her know and ask for her help when he found her dead body on the motel bed. Her eyes were wide open when he found her, focused on one certain point. He instantly understood what caused her death... or _who_. His body started shaking from anger, his both hands clenching. His jaw ticked and he closed his eyes to control his anger.

Even though she had been _Killer Frost_ , for him, she had always been _Caitlin Snow_. Looking at her mostly felt strange because this woman had not much resemblence to Caitlin Snow. Yet, from the Earth he had come, Caitlin was an important person for him. A dear friend, an important confidante, a woman who he deeply cared about. Hopelessly, all this time, he thought he could have saved Killer Frost. He always thought there was still a part of her left from Caitlin. The Flash had been the only person who still believed in the _good_ in her. However, now, he was staring at her dead form. There was nothing left to save.

His eyes teared up and he wanted to stay. He wanted to stay and say sorry to her for everything he had caused. Her death was all his fault. If he hadn’t been a pain in the ass and had left when she told him to, Zoom wouldn’t have come after her. But he had been persistent, because he was afraid of  being all alone in this matter. He had been selfish and his selfishness killed her.

But he knew if he stayed longer, Zoom would eventually locate him and come. Zoom must have guessed that The Flash would find her at one point for help. Zoom had been right. There he was, beside Killer Frost’s bed, closing her eyes softly with his hand. That was the least he could do for her.

Then he ran and ran and ran... He never once stopped. He knew exactly what he had to do now. He had to go back to that day where he apologized to Iris and went back in time to rewrite history. Somehow, he had to connect those two events with each other and go back to the day of their celebration of Zoom’s death. Only then he could rewind everything without breaking time and space, also the Speed Force.

He had to find a way to do that and he swore on Killer Frost’s dead body that he was going to find _that way_.

He was.

* * *

 

He was such an idiot for having been so angry at himself, at Zoom, at the Speed Force... He had felt like he had no reason to live anymore.

He had wanted vengeance. He had wanted revenge. He had wanted the man having caused all of this in the first place to suffer.

And he had thought he could make sure he suffered. But he should have known better than to act immediately on his rational thoughts and feelings. He should have thought of everything before doing something that could change everything. And he did change everything.

But now, he understood what a big mistake it was to think he could gamble with time and space and get away with it. He was so wrong.

All he wanted now was to fix everything.

So once again he rewrote the history, but this time by doing everything right and letting go of his anger. There were much more bigger things going on around him then his mom and dad dying.

He went home and said his farewell to his parents, not making it obvious to them that he was actually leaving and not coming back. They would be dead by the time he fixed everything. That made him cry his lungs out as he stood in the street of his house, cursing at everything and everyone that let him down. He never deserved any of this, he thought, never deserved it all.

He started running with all his might, forgetting about Zoom and all the others. They would be gone too, when he fixed everything—if he could manage it.

As he ran, he started seeing images of the past and the future right in front of him. He tried not to focus on all of them or he would confuse things. When he saw a certain scene, that night where he talked with Iris on the porch of their house, he ran to that timeline. But suddenly a hand grabbed his wrist, trying to stop him from going there. He looked back and saw a Time Wraith there, chasing him, pulling him back. He wanted to yell at that thing but had no time to do it as the thing pulled him with such force, he felt like he was having a concussion. 

He closed his eyes and prayed for the best. When he opened his eyes, he saw he was in a deserted place, no human life around him. He sighed and noticed he was once again in the Speed Force. He walked around for a few minutes before he saw a figure approaching him.

He couldn’t understand who it was at first but then his eyes opened wide in shock.

“Hello, Barry,” welcomed the Speed Force, in the form of Caitlin Snow.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head in disbelief. “Why?” he asked, knowing that the Speed Force knew what he was talking about.

“You’ve made a lot of mistakes, Barry. There’s only so much you can rewrite,” Caitlin—Speed Force told him with a frown.

“I know, I am sorry, I had promised I would never do something like this ever. But.. I couldn’t help it,” he explained and ruffled his hair in frustration. “Please, let me go back and make everything right.”

Speed Force looked at him intensely and he certainly knew if it was the real Caitlin in front of him, she would give that exact same expression to him. “I can’t let you, Barry. You are not reliable anymore.”

His eyes widened in disbelief. “No, no, you can’t—you shouldn’t do this!” he exclaimed with a sudden outburst. They couldn’t trap him here, no, they couldn’t, they shouldn’t... “Please, I’ll swear on anything you want, just let me go back,” he pleaded.

Caitlin—Speed Force looked at him skeptically but uttered no word. “Do I have to catch that thing—which so happens to be _me_ —again? Like, seriously? Are you for real right now?” The Flash asked Speed Force with irritation in his voice.

“Being stuck in the Speed Force, in the source of your power is enough of punishment for you, Barry. Maybe then you will learn not to try to change destiny of millions of people. Do you know how much damage you caused this time? Have you got any idea of the evil your actions spread?” Speed Force said, every word sounding like venom.

He cringed at the words from the Speed Force and tried a more polite approach. “My intentions were good.”

“Yes, they were, but you need to understand what you had caused. If you keep playing with time and speed like that, one day, you will never be able to go back from a reality you created. _You do not understand the consequences of your actions_. You underestimate all of _this_. Look around you, Barry, consider why you’re here _again_.”

Barry sighed and lowered his head. He knew exactly why he was here. He made a huge mistake and he was now trapped in here, in his own power. He abused his powers and if he couldn’t prove himself to the Speed Force, he would never be able to return to his life.

He took a step towards Caitlin—also happy to see soft brown eyes looking back at him and not the cold blue ones—he spoke. “I regret my decision now, I’ve _seen_ the consequences, I’ve _lived_ them. A person, who I consider a friend on my Earth, died because of me. In the hands of a killer that also killed my father. I’ve seen much more evil on this Earth than I’ve seen on mine,” he took another step towards Caitlin and put his hands on her shoulder gently before continuing. “I’ll catch hundreds of that thing if that’ll make you believe me. Give me one last chance, please, I am _begging_ you.”

The Speed Force had heard enough from him to trust him again. After all, he indeed lived in those consequences. He saw first hand what his actions had caused. He now knew what worse could happen if he were to try something stupid and rash again.

So Caitlin bowed her head slightly, nodding at him as a communion. “Alright, Barry, then run and catch a few of those before you go,” she said as she pointed in a direction far ahead, letting him know of the black shadow running nonstop.

Barry rolled his eyes and whispered a low “Here we go again,” before starting to run.

* * *

 

_Sometimes, you just can’t save everyone_ , his father on Earth-2 once told him.

_He was right._

So The Flash let go of his parents, his life that he thought would be the best for him. He let go of everything in order to make it all right again to Speed Force, to himself, to his friends...

Speed Force let him go and change the history once again, for the better this time they all hoped. The Flash found himself on the porch again, kissing Iris and knew he finally made it all right. Once they finished talking, Barry went inside the house to see Caitlin there, laughing and drinking along with everyone else. A small but sad smile crept up on his face as he approached her.

His hand wrapped around her wrist, gently tugging at her, pulling her to the kitchen where they could just be the two of them.

Caitlin was smiling but it was apparent that she was confused. “Hey, Barry, are you okay? I mean, it’s silly of me to ask after everything that’s happened but—”

Barry cut her off before she could continue. “I’m sorry.”

She was taken aback at what he said. “For what?”

Sadness surfaced on his features and he only managed to say “Everything.”. It was now so difficult to look at her and _not_ see Killer Frost. Now when he looked at Caitlin, all he saw was Killer Frost’s dead body on the bed. Her eyes that he had closed to give her some peace, at least on the other side...

Caitlin gave him a sympathetic look and squeezed his hand to reassure him that everything was going to be okay and he actually believed it.

Though he wondered, after everything, was there still a Killer Frost on Earth-2? He didn’t interfere with anything related to her existence anyway. So he looked at Caitlin and smiled, wondering what Killer Frost was now doing. Hoping she was alive and okay, he hugged Caitlin tightly, whispering another _sorry_ meanwhile.

* * *

 

There are some things in this world, that we cannot, _nobody_ can change. Sometimes we call it faith, sometimes we call it coincidence... But somethings are meant to happen when the right time comes and the particle accelerator explosion was one of those things that no matter what you do, you can’t stop. One way or the other, by Harrison Wells or Eobard Thawne or someone entirely else... it was meant to happen.

And in that exact same day when the first particle accelerator explosion happened, in Earth 2 the explosion took place once again and had killed many people, also turned many others to metahumans. The damage was huge, half the city was destroyed. Worse thing was, it once again created every evil metahumans within.

_Including Killer Frost._

This time wasn’t much different from the other two times she woke up. She again woke up in the morgue, thinking she had died but there she was, flesh and alive. She kept punching the bed, the walls of this tiny little place, kicking and yelling and screaming nonstop. Wasn’t anybody going to help her?

Appearently they weren’t because, she didn’t know how long it had been but, nobody came for her. Not even her mom to ID the body. She, miraculously managed to get out of the morgue when a staff member came to transfer her to another morgue in the city. She killed the man with her bare hands, stared at the guy in shock and fleed the area. Her new powers brought her nothing but death in the next two weeks. She was trying to adapt to this new life of hers, struggling with her own demons in the meantime.

No matter how many times The Flash would rewrite the history, she would always be born as _Killer Frost_ , because there was nothing he could do that was going to erase her from existence. As long as the particle accelerator explosion kept happening, she would always become the Killer Frost. Earth-1 had Caitlin Snow as Caitlin Snow and Earth-2 had Caitlin Snow as Killer Frost. One would always turn out to be good and the other would always turn out to be bad.

There was nothing that could change that.

And then there started the story of Killer Frost, once again, from the very beginning, following a similar but not the same path to the old one. In all probability, she was to become Killer Frost, the woman who could control ice. Maybe The Flash’s path would cross with hers again, who knew.

But before then, she had so much to do. So much to achieve.

She was Caitlin Snow.

But the thing was, she wasn’t Caitlin Snow anymore. She was someone... _something else_. And she wanted a new and a better name.

Then she had an idea...

* * *

 

_**THE END.** _


End file.
